I’ve always been fairly open about dad’s progression, even though it’s hard, because you never know if your experience can help someone else who feels alone in a similar situation.
Soo… My dad called me yesterday. He asked if I lived at home (the usual), so I told him about my apartment and downplayed the cost of my rent as always. He asked what I do for work and he thinks it’s pretty cool, I do too. I heard my mom in the background talking to a friend.
Then, my dad asked me how “mommy” was. I thought it was odd considering she was in the other room, but I answered “she’s doing well I think”. He sounded happy and asked me if she’s “found a new boyfriend yet”.
I was going for a walk through town and had to stop. Why would mommy have a new boyfriend I asked myself? “Nana Betty, I think I have her number I should call her”. Nana Betty is my dad’s mom who passed away shortly after I was born. I was so confused and then I realized that my dad thought his mother is my mom. “Our mommy?” I asked. “Yeah Nana Betty!” I corrected him explaining who Nana Betty was- “No, Nana Betty is my wife, she gave birth to you”.
I called his sister crying, I called my aunt, and then I called my mom. How do I tell my mom that her husband, my dad, thinks I have a different mom? Apparently this wasn’t a new thought for him because a few days ago he asked her “Danielle…is she your daughter?” My dad thinks that he’s 18 years old and still in high school. He wakes my mom up at 2 am wondering when he has to get ready. He has no recollection of college at the University of Miami, which we all know he loves, go canes!
Life changes quickly and we often only recognize the changes after they’ve happened. So, cherish the small moments just as you would the big. Remember the happy days but also accept the hard ones. Answer every phone call, smile for the 10th photo, and make your hugs a little tighter. Whether it’s Alzheimer’s, ALS, Cancer or another disease a parent, friend or family member is fighting, you don’t have to go through it alone