A big problem in many relationships is poor communication or a complete lack of communication. It is very important that people have time to express their feelings in a relationship, otherwise a healthy relationship can go downhill quickly. Lack of communication is one of the most common problems in relationships and eventually leads to couples breaking up. This article will highlight what lack of communication looks like, how it affects your relationship, and how to fix communication problems. But first, why is communication important?
People tend to have a need to belong and connect with others. Positive interactions, whether verbal or nonverbal, enhance our happiness. In a relationship, communication is key to ensuring the overall growth and health of both partners. Expressing emotions can sometimes be difficult but is essential to maintaining a positive relationship.
Signs That Your RelationshipIs Lacking Communication
Usually you will be able to tell when a lack of communication starts to affect your relationship. Here are some signs to look out for:
- Defensiveness;
- Passive aggression;
- Inability to compromise;
- Being inconsiderate about each other’s emotions during an argument;
- Failing to connect with each other;
- Many unresolved arguments;
- Criticizing each other;
- Giving/receiving less attention.
A lack of communication often stems from a deeper problem in the relationship. When these signs start to show, it’s best to seek professional help or confront your partner if possible. Some ideas on how to deal with lack of communication are covered further in this article and may be helpful.
How does lack of communication affect your relationship?
Not being able to communicate properly can destroy a relationship. A lack of communication will hinder the development of the relationship. Effects include:
- An increase in conflict and argumentative behavior. Individuals may begin to intentionally do things to make each other worry, blame each other for everything, and not comply with rules or requests. Ultimately, this leads to constant arguments that cannot be resolved without better communication.
- Misunderstandings. People who are in a relationship that lacks communication may have difficulty understanding each other. This causes confusion and misunderstanding.
Loneliness. When people feel as though they can’t talk to their partner about their feelings, it makes them feel lonely. This feeling tends to cause the person to distance themselves and seek understanding elsewhere. - A negative opinion of your partner. You may start to see all the bad sides of your partner. When there is little communication, it’s easy to understand things too much. It can become more difficult to see the positives in your relationship, and this creates barriers between you two.
- Unable to set and achieve goals. Emotional stress can make everyone in a relationship feel demotivated. It can be difficult to set personal and relationship goals. The relationship will suffer without growth and cause them to grow further apart.
- Less intimacy and connection. Often people who don’t communicate also begin to neglect other aspects of the relationship. This can make the partner feel unwanted and unhappy.
How to solve communication problems
First, you should try improving your general communication skills. Watch your body language, be honest, find the right moment and do it directly. Once you have mastered these skills, it may be necessary to look more deeply at what may be causing the problem.
Look for incongruence between meta-emotions: This is where people can feel emotions differently. One person may think it’s important to express emotions for the relationship to last while the other person may think it’s unnecessary. It can be difficult for couples to communicate if they have a lot of different emotions, but it’s important to try and explore how you both feel about the emotions. From this point on, you can decide how to communicate effectively. It may require you to compromise and in some conversations delve into emotions while in others you will move straight to a logical solution and put emotions aside.
Resolve previously unresolved issues: A past event can have a negative impact on the relationship. If this issue remains unresolved, it may be the cause of the lack of communication. To move forward in the relationship, you may have to look back and find solutions to current or past problems before moving forward. It is important to find out why your partner is not contacting you or vice versa
Consult an expert. If you and your partner can’t resolve the issue between the two of you, you may want to take the next step and engage in counseling or consult a professional to help you overcome communication barriers.
Every relationship requires a good level of communication. This is the only way you can work on solving the problems in your relationship and can build and make your relationship stronger. Don’t be afraid to reach out or ask for help if you two can’t work it out.