A man who drank alot was told by his wife “If you ever come home drunk again, I’m going to leave you”.
Regardless, that night he went out to a pub and drank a lot and was sick all over his shirt. He told his friend,
“If I go home like this my wife will leave me”.
His friend said. “I tell you what, put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, go home and show it to her and tell her somebody threw-up over you and he gave you the money for the dry-cleaning bill”.
He goes home and his wife’s angry at the state of him and tells him she is leaving, but he says,
“No, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill”.
His wife digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out some money. “Then why have you got two twenty-pound notes in there? ”
“Oh, the other is from the man who shat in my pants”.
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Wife Calls The Bar To Check If Her Husband…
WIFE CALLS THE BAR TO CHECK IF HER HUSBAND IS TELLING THE TRUTH. BUT NEVER EXPECTED TO HEAR THIS
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. ‘Where the hell have you been all night?’ she demands.
‘At this fantastic new bar,’ he says. “The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden.
It’s got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works – hell, even the urinal’s gold! ‘
The wife still doesn’t believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon.
She calls up the place to check her husband’s story. ‘Is this the Golden Saloon?’ she asks when the bartender answers the phone. ‘
Is this the Golden Saloon?’ she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
‘Yes it is,’ bartender answers.
‘Do you have huge golden doors?’ ‘Sure do.’ ‘Do you have golden floors? ‘Most certainly do. ‘What about golden urinals? ‘
There’s a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, ‘Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!’