Take care of yourself
Feeling empty after a breakup is inevitable. But we recommend allowing yourself time to go through the emotional stages appropriately. This stage does not have to be the end of your life. Healing after a breakup is possible, as is dating after a breakup. However, to prepare for that, you need to keep a few things in mind. Don’t worry, we’re listing them! To get started, you need to start prioritizing yourself in the following ways:
Especially if you’re wondering what to do after breaking up a long-term relationship. You don’t need a dating expert to tell you this because this is the oldest chapter in the book. Even though it feels difficult, it is still necessary. Things you need to do to get sober immediately:
1. Make a clean break
- Stay away from your ex for as long as you need
- Don’t try to stalk your ex on social media; Block them if it’s necessary to stay away
- Don’t hang out with mutual friends after a breakup if seeing them makes you feel uncomfortable or brings up painful emotions.
- You may feel like it’s okay to stay friends with your ex, but in most cases, it blows up spectacularly. The healing process after a breakup begins when you make a complete break-up, instead of returning to old painful situations and patterns.
- Remember that relationships end for a reason, there is nothing left to save. It’s better to leave with dignity intact
2. Acknowledge your feelings after a breakup
The second important step is to acknowledge all the hurt and negative feelings that a breakup brings. When you’re going through a traumatic breakup, it’s natural to feel bad, angry, and disappointed. It’s important to acknowledge those feelings instead of trying to push them away.
We asked our experts: How to move on after a breakup when you’re still in love? :
- “Allowing yourself time to grieve and accept your emotions is the most important aspect of the healing process.
- You don’t have to feel good too soon. Feel free to cry and scream – such practices help release negative emotions
- Journal your big and small emotions; Writing things down is a good way to cope.”
3. Find out what makes you happy
Chances are you feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself after losing the love of your life. But now it’s time to stand up and pat yourself on the back. Think of it this way, your ex is now out of your life and you have all the time to find the things that make you happy again.
- Spend some time alone: Take some time off, spend time with yourself, and get to know your own company
- Pick up some old activities: Do all the things you loved to do but your ex never wanted to do. Maybe you like swimming but your partner is not a good swimmer. It’s time to get back in the pool!
- Find yourself: Go on a date alone and pamper yourself. Get a manicure, invest in a new hair color or simply refresh your wardrobe. Start taking a yoga class or develop a new hobby, or start cycling around the city to enjoy the fresh air in the morning. You will feel great… finally
4. Contact your friends and family members
If you talk to a psychologist, they will tell you that it is important to have a support system when going through such a difficult time. And that’s exactly what Nandita suggested. “Surround yourself with people who sympathize with you, understand you, and help you feel better. You also have the right to decide when to see a therapist after a breakup. No one should force you, she said. Ask for help from people who can help distract you and make you forget about your ex. Spend time with them to remember how loved you are.
But how to move on after a breakup when you’re still in love? Here’s what we recommend:
- Confide in someone you trust. Approach them and talk to them about your feelings
- Ask friends and family members for advice about what they have done in similar situations
- Make sure you have someone to share your feelings of frustration, anger, and sadness with who won’t judge you.
- This is important because it is inevitable that you will continue to fall into a period of longing and pain for a while; you will need someone to confide in
- This way, you’ll have an accountability partner who can keep you on track during this difficult time.
Make changes
The breakup of an unmarried relationship can actually hurt as much as a divorce. So don’t look down on yourself when you’re deep in the trenches and feeling sad about what happened to you. Sometimes, you need to make some changes in your life so you can become a new person. The best thing about difficult breakups is that they can turn you into a new person you didn’t know you wanted to be.
5. Move or redecorate your space
Your immediate surroundings can have a serious impact on your mood. Changing and redesigning your living space will help you reset your spirit. Things that will definitely help you:
- Move out after a breakup: If you and your ex live together, move out as soon as possible. Breakups after living together can be extremely difficult, but you can do so gracefully
- Create a new living environment: If you live alone, redecorate your house or room. It can be as simple as changing the bedsheets or even making the space more colorful. Why not go buy a fancy new mirror?
- Throw away your ex’s belongings: If you have reminders of your ex lying around, getting rid of them will help promote the healing process. You don’t have to accidentally find their sweater in the closet or smell the scented candle they bought you last Christmas.
6. Take time to care for yourself
Taking some time for self-care can do wonders for your mental health. And here is some advice in case you have difficulty with this form of care:
- Create a habit that keeps you busy but happy: Reread your favorite book, watch a movie, cook your favorite dishes or order in
- Do something unusual: Take a solo trip to a new city you’ve never been to. There are enough Hollywood movies to tell you that solo adventures can do a lot of good for people who are feeling sad after a breakup.
- Stay healthy and active: Stay active with a new workout. Book a massage, go for a run, anything that brings you joy is welcome. Studies show that food helps a person recover from heartbreak, so eat in moderation and stock up on healthy foods and vegetables.
- It’s okay to be unproductive: ‘Being lazy’ is also self-care. Make a list of the best movies to watch after a breakup and spend a day watching them all at once. Oh, and don’t forget to stock the freezer with ice cream!
7. Use your newfound free time judiciously
After a breakup, you will have more free time. Use it to become a new version of yourself. This free time has the potential to make you lose your mind and may even make you want to contact your ex. Instead of spending time feeling sorry for yourself, use it to make some positive changes to your life. Start learning a new language, try a new skill, reinvent yourself – all these changes help you grow, and you’ll love this evolved version of yourself.
8. Explore and live a mindful life
It’s easy to wallow in grief and anxiety after a breakup. And living a mindful life is the best antidote to it. Mindfulness helps us stay calm and still for a while. Here’s what you need to do:
- Incorporate a few minutes of meditation and yoga into your daily routine
Learn a few mindfulness exercises to help you manage heavy thoughts and emotions - When you’re ready, get the group together and have some fun
- Go dancing, shopping, go to a bar or even just go out for a simple lunch. But remind yourself to come back to the present when your mind wanders. It’s difficult but keep doing it until it becomes a habit
9. What to do after breaking up a long-term relationship? Seek therapy
All of the tips we’ve mentioned are a good starting point. But what will help the most is professional help. Even if you start reluctantly, you’ll have a better understanding of what you need and how to move forward from here. Not only does it help you manage pain in a healthier way, but it also provides insights into your behavioral patterns. This can be extremely helpful in guiding future relationships.
Some people ask, is there a limit to how much time you can see a therapist after a breakup? No, but seeking help from a clinical psychologist or therapist becomes more urgent if you are struggling with issues such as anxiety or post-separation depression. If you’re looking for help, Bonobology’s skilled and experienced workshop advisors are here to assist you.
10. Give yourself some time
Perhaps the most important thing to do in this difficult situation is to remember that time is the great healer. Nandita advises, “Give yourself plenty of time and lots of TLC – tender, loving care – to get yourself out of this situation.” Here are some affirmations and reminders for you:
- Be gentle with yourself as if your best friend was going through the same thing
- Remember, everything will settle down over time
- Be kind to yourself and understand that you need to go through all the stages of post-breakup grief before things start to get back to normal.
- Post-breakup worries will subside, things will get better, and you’ll move forward
- You will begin to look to the future with hope
- Be patient there for at least three months or longer; Things will start looking up soon! Most importantly, as for your ex, don’t try to maintain the friendship after the breakup. Not at this stage.
Steer Clear Of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
11. If you want to accept the breakup and move on, don’t fall into a state of assumption
Read this carefully. Imagining what could have been is top of our list of what not to do after a breakup. As Nandita says, “Once you decide the breakup is over and dusted, make a conscious effort to remove any ‘what-if’ questions/scenarios from your mind.” These This meaningless rumination does more harm and brings no benefit. And let’s be honest, there is nothing to gain from them, so stop thinking about them.
Asking yourself these questions only keeps the pain in the back of your mind and stops the healing process. You need to practice emotional distance. The best thing you can do for yourself and your future relationships is to not ruminate on the following issues:
- It’s your fault or your ex’s
- Things you could have done differently
- Try to find out what happened between you two
- What if you prevented the first risk in the relationship or the last risk
12. Don’t get into rebound relationships
In the process of moving forward, people sometimes fall into the trap of making the worst possible decisions. You will most likely try to start a rebound relationship to get over your ex, and you may even try to connect with a good friend of yours who is supporting you during this time. But, let us tell you, it was a bad decision.
- Don’t redirect your energy toward someone new: Don’t immediately jump into a rebound relationship just because you’re trying to fill a void in your life at the moment. Tread carefully, or you will bring hate and grief into a new relationship, turning it sour.
- Don’t try to make your ex jealous: It’s better to stay away from the trend of posting photos on social networks for your ex or their friends to see. Don’t try to hint that you’re dating someone new. Don’t be dishonest with yourself or anyone else. It will only make you feel more empty
13. Don’t talk bad about your partner
It may be tempting to lash out at your ex, but in the end, they hurt you! But, don’t. Don’t fall into the negative cycle of talking bad about your ex. Find other sources to express your frustrations. Don’t talk harshly about your ex to anyone, no matter what. Here’s why:
- This is especially important if you have similar friends. It can leave a bad impression about you
- It will only make you feel miserable because hate will always reign in your mind
- It will ensure that you’re still thinking about your ex and we don’t want that, right?
- You’ll make it harder for yourself AND your ex. If you don’t want to hurt them, it’s best to go back on your words or write it down in your diary
14. Avoid making any drastic changes to your life after a breakup
After breaking up with someone, the grief over it can make you want to make some drastic changes – to yourself and your personality. Wait a while before getting bangs or dyeing your hair purple. The same advice applies to the tattoo you have to get now or quitting your job or any important life decision. Don’t sabotage your life satisfaction just because something goes wrong.
You don’t make important decisions when you’re reeling from losses. Your emotions may be running into overdrive and you will regret these impulsive decisions. So avoid making any changes to your personality or appearance – you’ll thank yourself for it later. Don’t give in to the urge to change yourself overnight to get over the breakup.